Image Source: Permian High School Football, 1988
IN THIS SHORT PIECE, AUTHOR BRIANNA ROTHERHAM DELVES INTO THE IMPACT SPORTS MAY HAVE ON ONE’S LIFE. SPECIFICALLY, SPORTS FORM IDENTITIES WITH THAT IMPACT INFLUENCING WHO ATHLETES STRIVE TO BE AND WHO THEY ACTUALLY BECOME, LEAVING SOMETHING MORE THAN AN IMPRESSION BUT A NEW PART OF ONESELF.
It was magical, the ways the lights reflected off the turf like a spotlight on a stage just when the show was getting good. They fell perfectly on those hundred yards, their bright beams surrounding the action, holding the excitement and nervousness within, drawing us all into the game. It captivated us to fixate on every little move the players made, blurring out the world behind the stadium, forming a communal identity the second we stepped foot into it. We could see every heavy and quick breath from the players with a puff of air visible on that frigid night. The feeling of reverence hung in the air as we stood on the Holy Ground, watching with eyes wide open as the football soared, something about its spiral so magnificent. The uniforms once pristine white and crimson red were muddied with grass stains and dark and wet from sweat. The audience stood because that was the only way you could see anything, but for me, I was right there-- turf flying up, the players’ sweat on me, the football within an arm’s reach away.
We all stood, sitting in silence, agonizing as the clock seem to tick slowly. It was as if the board, yards away, was ticking, more so pounding, mocking us, second by second—the only noise on the field was the breathing of the players and that deafening sound of the clock on the scoreboard hanging overhead. Finally, as if years had drifted by, the clock hit zero and we all moaned because, all tied up, we headed into the dreaded overtime. Our shoulders slumped, the parents sighed, and the coaches threw their hats on the ground. The game was not going as planned.
While these actions may seem feeble, usual features of defeat, it alludes to this greater idea that identity in sports and the image it creates is socentral to these individuals and its loss is one of tragedy; these simple actions of defeat are in fact not so simple, but are intricate and detailed. The Dons were seeded to win by a landslide and the evidence to the contrary was written all over the crowd’s faces. The norm for this team waswinning and they wore their uniforms proudly because of that. The uniform was a symbol of the numerous championships won in the past and a severe expectation for wins in the future. Perhaps then this is why I fixated on those grass stains on the uniforms, remembering how the demeanor of the players changed the second they put on that jersey.
Even more so than an expectation it was almost a commandment, a law written in stone, “Wear this uniform, honor the code, win the game.” We all knew what would happen if the rule wasn’t followed. In this moment, they were not living to that standard, stripping the uniform of its normal power, and the emotions on both the players and the crowd became quite obvious. Stripping them of this win would be a literal ripping off of their uniform, leaving them bare with nothing else. The expectation to win only emphasizes the reality that this sport, football, creates a certain self, one that is passed along like tradition. This sport that created such a personality for these players was being threatened and thus the slouched shoulders, the teary eyes, and the balled up fists became all the more so apparent—the shame of wearing the uniform of a winner and potentially not living up to the goal.
To read the rest of the essay, visit my blog.